Confessions of a Daughterless Mother

Yesterday I came home after a 5 day trip with Jackson out east to play lacrosse. We had risen at 3 am to fly home, I was exhausted. Not just from travel, but from the weight of life. But the fridge was unbelievably bare (does no one know the way to the grocery store but me?). Grocery shopping isn't my favorite job to begin with, let alone on little to no sleep and without a list - and I was too tired to make one.  Two full carts later I landed in the check out isle ... working quickly to unload my cart, feeling the eyes of those behind me wondering what the hell I was doing with so much food. I assumed they were irritated that I would be taking so long. I apologized to the gentleman behind me -- he was there with his grown son -- for having so much to unload. He smiled and said, "You don't worry about it. Not a problem at all." We continued chatting -- he laughing with me at the trials of feeding teenage boys.  At some point he started unloading groceries fr

I know he's not on third ... it's the best I could do today. :) Let's see if I can make this make sense ... I am not at all sure that I can.  I haven't written in a long time. A couple weeks before Coop graduated was my last entry ... and it's been over a month since then.  In part, I have found myself at a space in life where the story I am living is not mine to tell. Things happen in our lives that impact us greatly, but for which we do not own the copyright. That's where I am. It makes it difficult to write, because what I want -- need -- to write about isn't mine.  What I can write about is a train of thought that has taken several weeks to form. The idea, floating in my mind, my thoughts mulling it over like my fingers would a worry stone. I feel its edges and learn its curves. It makes sense in my mind, the translation may be lost. It is wrapped in the events of the past 6 weeks, both personal and public, and it has brought me clarity, i